A disordered life

Trembling with fear, she knelt down once more. A long night spent bent over a toilet was not how she had hoped to spend summer vacation.  Stomach acid ate away at her esophagus, yet she forcedly continued. 

            Who was she becoming?  How had this consumed her?  What happened to a couple diet pills and a happy life?  No, Satan doesn’t stop at borderline.  Satan works with extremes, and she was most certainly extremely consumed.

            The water was running, the scale waited, and her throat burned.  She hadn’t even eaten today, and she ran all afternoon until she couldn’t stand.  Why did this seem so necessary?  As she stood bare on her scale it read 90 lbs.  Tears streamed down her face, why was nothing good enough?  Lifting the sheet that hid her bathroom mirror, she tied a plastic string tight around her waist to cut into her stomach should it bloat out.

            There was a knock on the door.  “Adeline? Are you alright?”  It was her gullible father.  “Yes sir, just getting a late night bath to ease my muscles and calm my nerves.”  When there was no reply Adie clothed herself and walked into her bedroom.  It was late into the night, but she fixed a cup of coffee to up her metabolism. 

            The next day came with out a wink of sleep, and Adie stayed in a constant state of utter obsession.  She logged into her online community of people like herself, and spent the morning sharing tips with others.  As the day was at its hottest Adie decided to go for a run, the sweat may help her lose an extra pound.  She’d run until she passed out, if she hadn’t passed out it wasn’t enough.

            Once inside, she took a razor to her stomach.  Maybe she could cut the fat off…  “I HATE ME!”  She screamed out in her house all alone.  She cried and cried at her fingers searched to feel the bones protruding from her skin.  “God…  I can’t find myself to reach for you…” Her sobs did her no good.

            This was hers, and she wouldn’t give it up, no matter how badly she wanted to.  Nothing but black coffee and diet pills today, yet that night was spent over the toilet again. The scale read 88 lbs, and she was still not content.  Why would no one help her?  Why could no one see? 

            She yearned for someone to force her in to help, to get so bad off that she’d either die or someone would have to help.  She wouldn’t allow herself to ask for it, to scream for it, this demon commanded her to stay consumed.  If she kept this routine up, if she reached her goals, she could have herself back.  Adie knew it wasn’t true, that she was killing herself and hurting everyone around her.  She knew it would never be enough without God, but she couldn’t stop.  She had the slightest chance of being okay, and that was enough to keep her reaching for impossible goals.  82 lbs, 74 lbs, 62 lbs. 

            Adie couldn’t feel, she could barely speak or move.  She was anything but herself, and her mind wouldn’t stop.  The way she berated herself and obsessed never ceased, and she wouldn’t give it up, she didn’t know how. 

            “Please God, please, I can’t find me, allow someone to find me, let someone lead me to you God, I’m so scared.”  Adie was 85lbs, and falling apart.  She was lost, scared alone.

Who are we to watch her, and not allow God to use us to save her?  We are the body!

God wants to use us!  So you’re scared? Uncomfortable? That doesn’t matter.  Open your heart to God, and let his glory shine.  There are so many dying souls out there, and its our fault for not trying to save them.  Be the body, allow God to use you.

By: Andria Dawn

            

Who are you?

Take a moment to step back.  Ask yourself, who are you?  What defines you?  Who do other people see you as?  What do you let them define you as?

            I am nothing.  Worthless.  My God defines me, and I hope that others see me as His child.  I refuse to be defined as anything else.

            I am not my past, I am not my mistakes, I am not my family, or even their mistakes.  I am God’s creation, and I am His alone.  What about you?

            -If you’re wearing white shoes, take them off, because I’m about to step on toes.  If that makes you uncomfortable, GOOD!  The moment you get comfortable, you stop listening and working towards God, and then you are nothing that you claim to be.  We don’t need another hypocrite in this world, thanks anyway.-

            Why do we ground ourselves in a dying world?  How do we deny spirituality, when clearly it was there long before us?  We are nothing compared to the pure spirit, we are fleshly, half animal, half spirit.  We have a concept of time, and time has an ending.  However we have spirits, and spirits are for eternity.

            Our God CREATED us, destroyed us once, allowed us to repopulate, then died for us!  He wants us, wants a relationship with us, but he does NOT need us.  Why do we spit in His face constantly!  He asks for our belief, our love, our worship.  The funny part is if we could give Him that much and mean it in our heart, we would WANT to live differently!

            So you took a moment, said a prayer, claimed the name of Jesus.  Why does the world still define you?  If you claim salvation and don’t live it you’re a liar!  You’re still on the path to hell. (1 John 2:4)  God didn’t create us to destroy ourselves!  He has a true unconditional love for us, and we hurt him, always. 

            Satan disagreed with God, lied, came to earth, and polluted us with sin.  God’s very own creation degraded Him.  Oh, don’t get cocky, you’re no better.  No sin is bigger than the other, so why are you so much better than Satan?  You’re God’s creation, and you degrade His name everyday!

            You know those doubts in your mind?  Those are Satan’s demons.  The way science cuts short, doesn’t make sense, that’s Satan reassuring everything is here for our fleshly minds to not comprehend spirituality.  Our world seems more “real”?  NO!  Its not, but we are half animal, so we don’t allow ourselves to see beyond the world around us.

            The extremes that you go to, that is Satan!  Ever wonder why you always fail, always return to what you were?  Because Satan and his demons roam the earth with us, and our simple minds are not hidden to the spiritual world.  Every hidden weakness, every sore spot, God knows all!  Unfortunately, Satan and his demons know the flesh.

            We were given free will, and we don’t know how to use it.  We have to ask for the understanding we don’t have, the protection, the faith, and everything else.  We have to ask constantly to receive and keep the things we need to be extremely devoted to God, which is the ONLY extreme that proves terrible for Satan, the only extreme his demons can’t work with.

            So now, soak this all in, you claim to be one person, you live as another, and you allow the world to define you as it pleases.  So tell me, who are you really?  Because, if you’d give up your heart to The Almighty, I know who you could and should be.

Silence

Drip. Drop.  Drip. Drop.

 Water pounded from the awning to the sidewalk.

 Clip. Clop. Clip. Clop. 

Every step seemed more intense.  Each sound engraved into her mind, making her wonder if she was yet reaching insanity.  On her left she saw a boy, sitting on a bench.  With his face cradled in his hands, she saw the difficulties he faced.

 Silently, with her head bowed, she prayed.

 The cars zoomed past and the air stung her face.  She walked the busy streets of a city, an almost godless city.  From the corner of her eye, she saw a woman.  Her shirt was large and stained, and you couldn’t see her shorts.  She didn’t even bother to hide the bruises that ran up her arms like artwork.  It was no secret that she was an addict.  She yearned to reach out, to show the woman she was loved.

 Instead, with her head bowed, silently she prayed. 

It seemed suddenly she realized her surroundings.  Everyone was racing by, muttering curses with angry outlooks.  What had our world turned into?  Could absolutely no one reach out to our world?  Could no one show them that our God is real, and that we live for Him?  Why was everyone so silent about the greatest power on this earth? 

As she followed each crack in the pavement, like the cracks growing deeper in her heart, she bowed her head again, to silently pray. 

Finally, she lifted her head to see ahead of her now.  At the end of her long walk following the sidewalk, there were a grouping of boys and girls.  Dressed in black and blue, they each matched, along with every scowl. 

Her heart grew tight, and her stomach was in knots, but silently she prayed.

 A hit, a punch, a throw; silence had done nothing for this world.  A knife, a stab, a gun, a shot; she was almost too late.  Blood poured with her salt infested tears, and she cried out to the city about her God.

  With her death came revelation, and with her final tears came forgiveness from the only one who matters.

 Our Father.

By: Andria Dawn McMillen

Unforgiven

On her knees, shaky hands, she loaded her daddy’s pistol the way he taught her when she was eight.  She had done it so many times before, but now, in her empty apartment, on her living room floor, she had different intentions for its use.  This made each click register a whole new meaning.  She was absolutely certain she was meant to die! 

She had blocked out everything, and went over this a million times.  She was meant for hell.  It was just that simple.  Why else would so many terrible things have happened?  Was she supposed to grow stronger?  To hell with that, she could barely handle herself.  She was going to hell today.

Her mind was racing a mile a minute.  He seemed to be a wonderful guy!  So convincingly he talked her into her first drink.  She could feel the vodka sting her throat on the way down.  By the time it was over she was wasted, and didn’t even noticed he left her on the street alone. 

Drunkenly she staggered into an old ally way, and it was there she must have passed out.  Some sleazy man was on top of her the next she could remember.  She screamed and yelled, and he laughed.  No one came to help, not even as he beat her. 

She could see his face perfectly, each wrinkle, and his crooked grin with missing teeth.  The stench reached her nose again, and she felt his scruffy face.  Her hands trembled now more than ever.  She lay there that night and bled, with bone-crushing sadness she laid and bled.

She woke again a week later, bound by a hospital bed.  No one would talk to her, unless they were trying to get her to talk about that night.  She wouldn’t, she wouldn’t dare tell a soul the truth.  She was simply ashamed, and terrified of disappointment.  Everything was different now.  That man stole her identity, and left her with a soul who didn’t deserve eternal life.  She shouldn’t be offered heaven.

Two months later and here she was, left all alone in her apartment, and she knew where her daddy hid his pistol.  It was intended for safety reasons, however in her twisted mind she saw this to be a very big safety issue.  It was safer for everyone, before her insanity reached an all time high.  The loaded pistol now rested in her sweaty palms.

It must be done.  The gun reached her temple with an unwelcome chill, and with her index finger she applied just enough pressure.  POP!  It was sharp, intense, and very, very real.  Just like that cold dreary night, there she laid, alcohol in her system and bleeding on the floor.  She was heading to hell with an unforgivable mistake.

By: Andria Dawn McMillen

No Longer

Quietly she stood, shying back from the crowd.  She knew, somewhere in her mind, she should be hysterical right now.  Just like everyone else, crying and screaming.  Her eyes began to wander, but her vision was blurred.  Feeling quite faint, she simply walked off campus.  It didn’t matter anymore.  None of it mattered.

          Walking into the near by woods, she fell to her knees gasping for air.  Her hands clenched tightly around her rib cage, and her chest was pounding.  It felt as though her entire being were being torn apart. The pain seared like she were getting burned alive.

          Over and over she saw it.  Carl’s car slid across the ice in the parking lot.  Herself, Leah, was in the passenger seat.  It was late that night, and they were only trying to turn around.  In front of the school building, she vividly remembered the blood gushing from his neck and chest.  It took everything in her not to scream, she was careful to keep him calm.  “I am in love with you Carl.” She whispered in his ear, his body going limp.

          The ambulance, the sirens, the long night in the hospital, it seemed as if it were ages ago.  All of that in such a blur, she could remember four words very clearly when she asked to see her fiancé.  “He didn’t make it.”  These words came from a male nurse, and they were said harshly, bluntly, coldly. 

          She couldn’t believe it.  She wouldn’t believe it!  Nothing seemed real anymore, but she would not accept the facts.  Walking in to school, facing a crowd of mourning grieving students, no one even held her hand for support.  It all flew through her now.

          The pain was so immense.  How it hurt to accept it, to open her eyes to a reality she now realized she couldn’t bare.  Carl wouldn’t, or more so couldn’t, hold her hand anymore.  She was alone.  He was gone. Until she is to die herself, he will be gone.

          Seventeen years old and madly in love, that’s who she was until Saturday night.  Wait, no, she took that back.  She was still seventeen, and definitely still madly in love.  No longer was it that she would be engaged.  Her future was no longer promised.  She swore to the day that without him, she couldn’t be happy.  Without him, she couldn’t live.

By: Andria Dawn McMillen

My God has changed my heart

The clock ticks slowly, and the next I realize, its become tomorrow.  Another day lived and passed.  How many more were left?  How much longer must I endure this life?  Listening intently to the sounds coming from the all around the house, it’s become apparent to me that silence isn’t all that silent.  Creak, drip, crackle, chirp, whimper, whine, drop, squeak, snore, KABOOM!  The ice machine dropped off another load of ice, like the stork with the unwelcome baby.  At this I turn to a relevant tangent.  The unwelcome baby, such as myself, like the ice being dropped, has become a useful burden.  No one wants to deal with the trouble.  No one enjoys the sound.  Yet everyone uses it, everyone reaps the benefits.  Click, tick, click, tick, the clock reads 12:02.  Life is running its course far to slow.  My mind is traveling too fast for me to keep up.  Everything eats at my soul.  People’s words replay, images form, and I’m at attack with myself.  Almost like rewinding a scratched CD and playing it over and over to try to get it past that one bad aspect, that one skip, that one scratch.  I taste my own blood, I bit through my cheek again.  I run my tongue over the open wounds and the long formed scars.  No one even knew.  I almost wished to stop sometimes, but I’m afraid that could lead to doing something terrible, something regretted more in the long run.  Such as eating, or speaking.  I worry myself.  Who am I?  I find myself in constant disagreement with myself.  There is never a moment of peace within my soul.  I say that I don’t hate, but I find that now quite untrue.  I have so much hatred, more than any other emotion or feeling, and it seems every drop is directed towards myself.  I know better.  My God knows better.  These demons are consuming, and they have the best of me.  I hope I wither into nothing.  Disappear.  The clock ticks slowly, and I’ll soon find myself in attempt to sleep through this next day.  I’m not up for a battle; I’m not ready to see another face.  I will encase myself within my demons, and let them whittle away at my soul.  My inspiration for words slowly leaves, Farewell.

Appreciation

She worked another day today,

Heard what each patient had to say.

With delicate hands and a fragile heart,

She worked through each day as though she’d just start.

Dressed in scrubs with sterile hands,

She did of which her job demands.

Medical records lay before her eyes,

A little piece of her heart now dies.

She weighed a girl, who starved her self,

Restocked an old abandoned shelf.

To read the temperature of an infant boy,

Was like a death sentence to his mothers joy.

Checked in a case of the common cold,

A teenage pregnancy didn’t go untold.

Diabetes discovered in another young man,

Each day she swears to do all she can.

God took a life as she stood in the room,

She bowed her head to pray and dress another wound.

The life of a nurse, stressful but worth it,

And filled with compassion, too much to be writ.

So she worked another day today,

And tucked her tears and pain away.

Working full-fledged with her big heart,

She never wore out, as though she’d just start.

Empowered through which her job demands,

Doctors and nurses go hand-in-hand.

So pay your respects, look through their eyes,

To see the inspiration that is never to die.

Unexpected

On her knees, face buried in the floor, tears were streaming down her blood-rushed face. Praying, and praying hard, the Holy Ghost had blessed her with His presence. She was on a high, and drugs could never match it. She wasn’t even looking to find God that night, and she definitely wasn’t listening to the curb-dwelling preachers. In some hidden home with a woman she hardly knew, her eyes were opened to her almighty God.
Only an hour ago her complete intentions were to shoot up again, maybe take a few too many pills. She even had a loaded pistol in her car, and her temple yearned to feel that cold unwelcomed strangeness. Someone like her had no business in Heaven or eternal life. Hell would be her home. An eternal death was all that she deserved. But somehow, she ended up in this house, and she knew with conviction that God was with her now, and would be forever. She could be so much more through Him then she ever was before.
A mama with out the custody of her kids, an ex wife who was lost in the world. She fell hard and fast, only twenty-two and on her own. She fought through her life, and was hopelessly addicted to that which slowly sucked her life away. Now she lay in tears at the blessing arising. The feeling she felt, she was one with God, she was better than who she was.
Her mind wandered now, in attempt to figure out how she got to where she lay now. Long blonde stringy hair wisped in the harsh cold winds. Her face was washed out, and her arms were bruised. Brown eyes searched the city streets, desperate for an escape from this life. What she liked to call “Bible Thumpers” were perched on almost every street corner preaching of a God she questioned if they followed. Their words were meaningless to her, absolutely meaningless. She had a much different fate in mind then the happiness of the eternal life they spoke of.
Finally, she found her beat up ragged car parked on the side of the road where she left it. Sitting in the front seat her shivering hands loaded the gun she had only just illegally bought. Sitting it down in the passenger seat the franticly searched her worn out leather purse for her two most important contents, a needle fresh with heroin, and a bottle filled with ecstasy. A belt pulled tight on her upper arm, she shook as she bit the lid off the needle. With the sky growing dark she jumped when there was a sudden tap on her window. She sat down her needle and hesitantly opened the car door. This is where God started today’s journey.
A woman, she had never seen stood before her. This wasn’t surprising seeing as she rarely paid any attention to the world around her. “ Would you come with me please?” Her voice was soft and reassuring. Almost involuntarily she stood and followed, leaving behind her gun, pills and needle. Gracefully the woman stepped through the woods and she followed without a word. The tree’s reached down, and from the city back roads they had ventured into an entirely new wonderland. Snow trickled off the trees onto her hair, but she was so numb she couldn’t feel the sting of the morbidly cold weather.
On this unexpected adventure she had learned what honest confusion was. To ignore the questions without answers, she watched this strange woman. Her hair was wavy, and it only reached her shoulders. The dark brown contrasted against the delicate white snow. Her body was slim, and she seemed simple, quaint, and yet very content with her life. She wondered how this woman lived this way. All she ever wished was to be happy with her self.
They reached a small house, surrounded by nothing more than trees and nature itself. Being in the presence of this strange place gave her an intense feeling of security. She was sure her life was changing moment by moment. Everything felt so real, and as the numbness wore away she felt the sting of the snow hit her face.
She never doubted, never questioned, but followed a strange lady into a comforting home. Suddenly, an elated sensation washed over her. She sat on the couch, placed in a simple fashion with the rest of the furniture pieces. There another journey took place, through a conversation between the two of them, lines were crossed and there was no return.
Words were shared of a God that has yearned for her soul this entire time. She wasn’t alone. She was never alone. Everything she questioned, she was a fool to question the Almighty! He touched her through a woman whose name she never caught. The Holy Spirit lived inside of her and she was not her own.
On her knee’s, crying out in joy. She was found tonight. She felt, she loved, and life was real. Everything was real. Everything would be okay from here on out. She is God’s child. A smile on her face, she looked to the Heavens with appreciation.

By: Andria Dawn 11-10-09

Here lie the remnants of what was once a stable life.  Every night you sleep in fear of what waits in the morning.  You have done all you can to be the best version of yourself, yet still the life around you remains shaky.

            Have things ever been any different?  Have the knots in your stomach ever not been there?  Sure, once upon a time you fit in with your surroundings.  Once upon a time you were weak, dependant, insecure, unstable, impulsive, depressed, rebellious, obsessive, self-destructive, and so much more.  Yes, this is your eating disorder we’re describing.

            So, you still struggle?  You still want to fall into that person?  Look around you, do you honestly wish to fit into the chaos?  Are you not any better than that?

            Your right, you’re not any better than that, but what you believe in is.  What you’ve grounded yourself in is strong, and much bigger than your struggles.  Your background is polluted, your roots are disintegrating; however your renewal is eternal, and your repentance is pure.

            Yes, your surroundings reflect the person you were, and the person you were working to become.  Yes, returning would be easy.  No, it’s not worth it.  No, your life does not have to be as condemned as you once were.

            In clarification, I’d like to state that you are nothing.  You are worthless, weak, dependent, insecure, unstable, impulsive, depressed, rebellious, obsessive, self-destructive, and so much more.  Yes, this is you we’re describing.

            So, you’re still struggling?  Yeah, you always will.  Now look around you, do you really want to be average? Either way, you are and always will be.  You’re not any better than that on your own. However, what you believe in is.

            Our God is bigger than you, your life, your world, and everything you go through.  Our God is worthy, strong, independent, secure, stable, calm, perfect, just, level, encouraging, and so much more. 

            Stop the self-pity, step back, and look at life.  Our God is almighty!  We are nothing but His creation, so, who are we to live for ourselves?  Who are we to continue falling into our evil and sinful demons?  You may be able to handle it now, but you will get nowhere with out our Creator, our God.

“ When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, but finds none.  Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes it finds the house empty, swept, and put in order.  Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that person is worse than the first.  So also will it be with this evil generation.”

                                                                                                            Matthew 12:43-45

Hey Daddy

Hey daddy, I need you now more then ever.

Hey mommy, get your life together.

Didn’t I have siblings?  Where’d they go?

Were we ever a family?  I wouldn’t know.

Do you see the hatred in my eyes?

The love for myself slowly dies.

Break, mirror, break.  Shatter into pieces.

I hate this reflection, the pain never seizes.

What’s wrong with me daddy?  Why do I cry?

Where are you mommy? I know that you try.

Brother, brother, so many, do you care?

Sister, sister, it’s my heart that you tear.

Daddy, your wife, she has two faces.

Mommy, listen, my heart races.

Friends, I know you stand, ready for all,

But aren’t you tired, waiting for my fall?

Long awaited love, your great and grounded in God,

But I’m so far from what you need, I’ve learned to smile and nod.

If I were you, I’d walk away.

If it were I, I’d be scared to stay.

Falling apart, from inside to out,

Terrified of myself, I just want to shout.

Is hell worth the life I’d take?

Living this way is nothing but fake.

I live against my will unable to choose,

I hate all I’ve become, step into my shoes.

I’m sorry, for living this way,

I’m sorry that you watch, or even stay.

Andria Dawn McMillen 6.16.10

They say all’s fair in love and war.  But if you ask me, those are the two things that are never fair.  How many times has someone cheated in a war?  Sneak attack, spies, secret weapons, and whatever else it takes to win!  How many people claim love?  Now, how many people live in love?  How is it fair to say one thing, and show another?  So really, is anything fair?  Not love, war, hate, or even peace.  Will anyone ever be satisfied?  So tell me this, who are we to say all is fair in anything?   

Affection. Attention.  These are sore topics in our society.  While we all strive for them, we never vocalize what it is we’re striving for.  Either we have too much or not enough, but it never equals out.  Teenage rebellions, adult tension, we all get there with too much affection, a little too much attention.  Depression, anxiety, promiscuity, eating disorders, self-mutilation, adultery, we see it every day from lack of what our bodies, minds, and souls long for.  Eventually you don’t even want their attention, you simply want to continue down the path your heading.  A simply touch, a brush, a hug, it leaves you gasping for air.  You had it for a moment, and now its gone.  You’ve lost your knowledge of where you stand, the line is blurred, and you’re on edge.  What is wrong with our society?  What ever happened to parenthood?  Childhood?  The generation coming up is stepping up.  Kids, teenagers, young adults, they’re setting the examples.  The last generation dwindles.  Very rarely do you see our adults taking their responsibility.  What happened to God’s original vision?  Everyone acts as though they’re deficient in the amount of attention they’re shown, the affection they receive.  It looks as though our world is godless and falling apart, but I see my generation.  I see the people around me rising.  I see God working, and maybe our world is crap, but I see my God through it all.  Let God supply your affection, your attention.  Let God be all He wishes to be.  We need Him.

8-4-10

andriadawn

A Summer to Forget

She curled up next to him, and snuggled in close.  His body heat surrounded her, and for a moment she was content.  With closed eyes, drifting into a light sleep, it all came rushing back to her. 

            Three guys, pushing, shoving, and yelling.  All she could do was scream.  They were all so much bigger than her.  “No! Stop it!” was all she could manage to sputter up in the madness.  Sobbing, screeching, she watched them laugh.  “She wants it! She wants you to take it!” The tan one muttered.

            She fought with all the might she could muster, but it was useless.  She was in the passenger seat of their truck, in an unfamiliar pasture, in a situation she led herself into.  Absolutely helpless, she lay there as one guy in the back seat held her down.  The driver helped strip her clothing as the third guy had his way.  He took all she had left, robbed her of the last of her innocence. 

            The pain seared.  Mentally, Physically, emotionally, she couldn’t fight anymore.  As the three guys switched up, she silenced her screams, let her body go limp, and let the tears flow.  Each boy had a turn, and once they were satisfied they agreed to drp her off on the road where she stayed.

            She was living with her mother and her fiancé for the summer, in a new town, with no friends and no form of contact. Some of the local boys knew her mum, and so she confided in them as friends. She had snuck out to go to a fight with them, when she realized something was terribly wrong. 

            Walking up her dark, deserted road, she wept.  She had to find a way to forgive them with time.  They had connections, and this getting out could cause her mother great trouble around town.  So that was it. It was her own little secret of a devastating theft.

            Now alone in her current room, she was without her father’s comfort.  Soaked in her own blood, she wouldn’t let herself believe it was anyone’s fault but her own.  Tucking it away, painting on a smile, she was thirteen and all grown up.  She hated herself for what she’d let herself become, and do anything to forget about it.

            As a single warm tear fell down her cheek, she began to fall into her eating disorder once again.  It had always been there, and always been easily triggered.  Wrapped tightly with the love of her life, she knew her past must remain her past.  Forgiveness is key, though it’d never rid her of the internal pain.

            His arms cradled her now, and all was simply perfect for a single moment.  With newfound salvation, she would grow for her traumatizing experiences.  All would remain perfect as long as they were together, through God and God alone.

           

By: Andria Dawn McMillen