Regrets...

That is what hurts the most.
The regrets.
So many people,
who were so close,
or supposed to be,
and now their gone.
I am left with my regrets.

Why?
Why wasn't I who I should have been?
Why didn't I try harder?
It's too late to be who I wanted to be now.

Over and over again this happens...
I am always left with regrets.

Death terrifies me.
Not mine,
but other peoples.
I don't know how I would handle myself.

The thought of losing some people tears me apart.
MAD respect for all of you out there who survive through the lost of loved ones.

I guess that I have,
but I can't look back and tell you how.

Well other than that,
I can honestly say I've lost control of myself  a few times,
the stress of life and perfection have gotten through.
More accurately,
Satan got through.
Boy, that's hard to admit.

My scale read 92.4,
and I got great joy from that,
all I could think for two days straight,
" If I get below 90, its a danger zone,
I won't be able to stop myself."
I didn't consume my mind with those words with worry,
but rather excitement.
That makes my stomach turn,
to know that person is still in there.

beauty is NOT a size, a look, clothes, makeup, or acceptance,
beauty is a FEELING.
I feel beautiful when I am comfortable with myself.
Who is to judge you because your comfortable with different things than other people?
Unfortunately,
Satan tries to convince me that I feel beautiful with social acceptance,
or with a certain weight.

For am I looking for the approval of man or God?  If I were looking for the approval of man I would not be a servant of God.
Galatians 1:10

That verse is posted on my mirror,
because I AM a servant of God.

Well, I have taken on my life,
and I am doing it with zeal.
Church, Bible, College, Assistant Manager, Ballet.
I am fully relliant on God,
because it is not by my own strength I can do this.
I do have this amazing blessing helping me all along the way,
His name is David,
and I am so glad God brought us together.

Well, there it is guys.
My life in a nutshell as of late.
Thank you for your eyes and internet service,
stay in tune for the next expression of pointless emotion.

God bless,
Andria Dawn McMillen.